I Love U In Me & Horny Toad

Evolution & Human Mating Strategies

“I Love U In Me” b-side of the single The Arms of Orion (1989), “Horny Toad” b-side of the single Delirious (1982)

When it comes to finding a partner that will mate with us there are a plethora of variables that must be considered. One of the more strident questions is “Is this person what I'm looking for in a sexual mate?” Since the dawning of mankind this has been a question man has had to answer. Once we resolve this question and decide to start a relationship with that person the question of sexual fidelity becomes the ever present question that runs in the background of the relationship like a computer's operating system.

The field of Evolutionary Psychology argues that humanity has constructed different mating strategies to guarantee their reproductive success (Schmitt, 2007). There are two main strategies that people adopt. The first is the monogamy method this is the restricted strategy and it requires commitment to and emotional investment in a relationship from a partner before sexual intercourse can occur (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007). The lyrics from “I Love U In Me” speaks to the intimacy of sex that is central to this commitment based method of mating, Our bodies sink in a pool of sweat, It's the kind of love that you never forget,With you honey, I'm the richest in the world, I don't need money 'cause you're my girl.

The other major mating method is less restrictive in nature. This unrestricted method requires little or no emotional commitment or investment in the relationship and the person may be willing to engage in sexual relations quickly with a prospective partner (Schmitt, 2007). Love and romance are not necessarily prerequisites to sex for those who embrace this strategy. Lines like, I don't love you I'm just a horny toad and All I want is to rub your body, I can't help it I'm just a horny toad from “Horny Toad” show the emotional detachment that those who vibe with an unrestricted sexual worldview often approach sexual encounters. Studies show that generally men are higher than women are in the unrestricted strategy (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007). The historical evolutionary perspective has been that men tend to be less sexually restricted than women because they invest less in reproduction and have the potential ability to impregnate many partners (Schmitt, 2007). Whereas, women invest heavily in reproduction and they can only have one pregnancy at a time (Schmitt, 2007). Knowing this women should be expected to be more selective than men in regard to who they have sexual intercourse with. Yet this is not always the case because there are some women that have an unrestricted orientation, while some men adopt a sexually restrictive stance and are sexually faithful to their partners.

To explain this behavior, evolutionary psychologists in recent history have developed more sophisticated theories that acknowledge that each individual may choose from more than one kind of mating strategy regardless of their sex (Schmitt, 2007). Females who adopt a restricted sexual stance will seek out sexual partners who display a willingness to invest emotion, time and resources into the relationship and provide for her future children (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007 ). Females with an unrestricted sexual standpoint might seek out partners who show signs of desirable genes that are congruent with reproductive success, in order to pass those genes onto her children (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007). In other words they seek to mate with men who are physically attractive and/or have high social status. These kinds of men typically will find these unrestricted women preferable to the more restricted type who demand more monogamy, as they seek out to mate with as many women as possible (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007 ). Men who consider themselves less desirable (lower on the social ladder, not physically attractive, etc.) might have less of a chance of being successful in mating with many partners; therefore they will adopt a restricted orientation in order to appeal to restricted women because they realize with these types of partners they might not need money 'cause they have a restricted minded girl (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007).

These two broad strategies tends to maintain a balance over time because the people who live by one strategy tend to compete most vigorously with those in the same orientation (Schmitt, 2007). For example a man who has a mate that adopts an unrestricted stance has to primarily be concerned with people that adhere to an unrestricted stance. Generally speaking people who have a restricted view of sexuality do not seek to mate and settle down with those who don't. Let me once again state these are but two of many different mating patterns. We did not touch on open relationships, sex only relationships or sexual relationships based on monetary gain, there are too many different strategies that cannot be covered in a blog post. For those interested in hearing about this other mating strategies check out the article: Sexual Strategies Theory: An evolutionary perspective on human mating by David M. Buss and David Schmitt. Human genes are not monolithic. Just as sure as there are different eye colors, resistance to disease and mental abilities there are different mating patterns within mankind. Happy mating everyone.

References

Markey, P. M., & Markey, C. N. (2007). The interpersonal meaning of sexual promiscuity. Journal of Research in Personality, 41(6), 1199-1212.

Schmitt, D. P. (2007). Sexual Strategies Across Sexual Orientations. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 18(2-3), 183-214.

Let's Go Crazy

Dr. Everything'll Be Alright & Dr. Kevorkian

“Let's Go Crazy” from the album Purple Rain (1984)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to talk about euthanasia. This is a very polarizing topic to discuss because it strikes at the core of our humanity, life. Whether for religious reasons (all life is sacred) or humanistic reasons (the continuation of the species is the reason we evolve) people have strong feelings about Physician Aid in-Dying (PAD). There are many ethical and moral considerations on both sides of this discussion to be considered when determining whether this should be a legal option or not. There are so many different arguments for and against it but we will limit this article to three of them. The first reason we will look at for wanting euthanasia to to be legal is quality of life vs. the sanctity of life.

If you don't like the world you're living in
Take a look around you
At least you got friends

Quality of life vs. Sanctity of life. This argument states that individuals have the right to choose whether quality of life or sanctity of life is more important to them. In situations where people are suffering intense pain or are profoundly limited in their daily lives by illness, or they are completely dependent on medication or other people to get through life; proponents of euthanasia would argue people have a right to choose quality of life over the sanctity of life (APS, 2008). Those who oppose PAD contend that people who are considering this option, they are in emotional and physical duress, it is scientific fact that the more stress we are under the more our decision-making abilities degrade and because of that these sufferers should not be legally allowed to make a life or death decision (Cleiren, M; Diekstra, R.F.; Kerkhof, A.J.& Van Der Wal, J., 1994). Oftentimes people who express a desire to end their life may be impacted by a state of depression, constant pain or dysphoria (Cleire, M., et al., 1994). These conditions often can be relieved or lessened with proper treatment. If people in this condition are given proper care, some argue that they may no longer want to die (APS, 2008). In the above lyrics Prince speaks about this. People sometime get so desperate that they become hopeless; people become hopeless when they decide there is no hope. Every once in awhile we have to take a look around. Even if we are dying of cancer, even if we are paralyzed no matter how bad life is there is still some good. Someone might be dying of cancer and are in constant pain but what if they have loved ones who love them and don't want to let them go. Maybe a war vet lost both his legs to an IED and their spouse left them because they couldn't accept this new change. He might still have health care and with it gets top notch rehab that allows them a new lease on life. This new vigor causes them to seek out love again and find the true love of their life. Of course there are times to be distraught, grief stricken and depressed but not all the time. If you are looking for hope you will find it, if you stop looking for it you won't find it.

We're all excited
But we don't know why
Maybe it's 'cause
We're all gonna die

To allow regulation of procedures regarding euthanasia. It is common knowledge that even though PAD is illegal in most states it still occurs just like gambling, drug use and other illegal activities. Legal recognition would enable regulators to be draft laws to prevent harm to those seeking out PAD (mandatory counseling for patients and families, discussions about modes of death with physicians, etc.) (APS, 2008). However, by making euthanasia legal that opens the door to the possibility of coercion or the loss of autonomy. With this as a legal option some people may become pressured by family members or caregivers to ask for PAD (APS, 2008). Or the guilt and/or burden they place on others might weigh on their minds so much that they seek out death and their perception might be wrong because just because they feel like they are a burden to their caregivers, the caregivers might see it as an act of love, not a burden (Cleire, M., et al., 1994). Also the ethical issue cuts both ways because if euthanasia became legal than medical professionals who oppose it would be forced into violating their own morality. In addition, we have to remember that mankind has a natural preoccupation with suffering or as Dostoevsky so eloquently put in the novel Notes from Underground, “Man is sometimes extraordinarily in love with suffering, that is a fact”. We all sometimes enjoy suffering. Sometimes we find comfort in pain and sadness so we seek it out. That's why for every poppy love song there is an emo song that ruminates on death and lost love. For every romantic comedy movie there are horror films and sad dramatic films. This fascination with death Sigmund Freud called it thanatos. Sometimes the anticipation of death is something that we become fixated on. This natural concern for death can become unhealthy when it becomes an obsession (Cleire, M., et al., 1994).

Dr. Everything'll be alright
Will make everything go wrong
Pills and thrills and daffodils will kill
Hang tough children

To reduce the legal jeopardy of those who implement euthanasia. Many people including those in the medical believe ethically in the practice of euthanasia (APS, 2008). Even some in the religious community believe in euthanasia. The way that the laws are now those who euthanize another person are subject to legal punishment even when it is determined that the death sprung from a request from the sufferer, and that the motives behind it were empathy and compassion, not malice or any criminal reason (APS, 2008). The argument here is that those who ethically and morally believe in PAD have no legal protection. Some counter this stance by saying that a legal adoption of euthanasia could lead to a reduction of earnest efforts in diagnosis, treatment, and long term care (APS, 2008). Prince alludes to this when he says, Dr. Everything'll be alright, will make everything go wrong, physicians are people too and sometimes people will take shortcuts. Doctors tell patients that everything will be okay but even the most well meaning physician can make a mistake. Every year there are thousands of malpractice lawsuits against doctors and the availability of euthanasia might push some to lean on it to protect themselves from potential lawsuits. Furthermore, it might be cheaper for insurance companies or families members to euthanize a person (APS, 2008). Life is hard but at the same time it is joyous. We only get one life and no matter side you land on this debate, I hope we take to heart the line, Hang tough children.

References

The Australian Psychological Society, Ltd. (2008). Psychological perspectives on euthanasia and the terminally: An APS discussion paper prepared by a working group of the directorate of social issues. Level (11): 1-26.

Cleiren, M; Diekstra, R.F.; Kerkhof, A.J.; Van Der Wal, J. (1994). Mode of death and kinship in bereavement: Focusing on "who" rather than "how." Crisis 15 (1): 22–36.

Love

I Love You, Now Change

“Love” from the album 3121 (2006)

When it comes to romantic relations many things can go wrong. People frequently adopt interpersonal skills without much evaluation (Howell, 2012). For example many people try to win arguments instead of using the argument as an opportunity to understand more about the other person. When you stop to think about it, trying to win an argument is another way of forcing your point of view on someone else. Don't you enjoy it when people do that to you? Of course not but we consistently do that to our romantic partners. Another pitfall people fall into is trying to make their mate into the person they want them to be.

Stop giving me your wish list
Love is free from all this

We cannot fashion people into the person we want them to be. If you are in a healthy relationship with someone who is not abusive in anyway, who validates you, makes you feel safe and understood and strives to love you that is a great base for a relationship. Be happy if you have that because many people do not. We all have our wish list for what we want from our mate whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual (Howell, 2012). What we have to remember is that they have one too yet they chose to start a relationship with us (Howell, 2012). As we grow with our partner we will naturally change but we cannot try to force someone to be something they are not. Remember why you fell in love with them in the first place instead of focusing on what you want them to be. Love truly is free from all this because love seeks to be one with someone else, not force someone to be “the one” you want.

Stop telling me what you want me to hear
Stop telling me what you want me to fear

A curious thing that happens when we try to make someone into a person they are not. We become a person we don't want to be. At best we become domineering at worse we become parental. When you have the view that you can mold someone to be what you want them to be you have dramatically changed the relationship dynamic (Howell, 2012). Parents are charged with the social responsibility of shaping another human being, romantic partners are not. We are to partner with our lovers and together become better people so that the couple can function in a healthy way. When we start dictating how another adult should think and act we become their parent. No one wants to date their parents.

From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks
Love is whatever, whatever you want it to be

Love is one of those words that is full of so many meanings so much so that it means so many different things to different people. Yet it really is whatever we want it to be. If we see love as something that must be earned then we will strive to be perfect and worthy of it. If we see love as something painful, then it will be painful to us. If we see it as a life affirming gift that is given between people than that's what it will be. If we are trying to change someone else it says more about us than the other person. If we feel that another person needs to change in order for us to be happy with them, we have something inside us that needs to be addressed (Howell, 2012). Or to put it another way, From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Whatever we speak communicates what is truly in our heart. Deal with what is lacking in you because when it comes down to it the only person you can change is you.

Reference

Howe, T. R. (2012). Marriages and families in the 21st century: A bioecological approach. Chichester, West Sussex: Wiley-Blackwell.

Baby

Dr. Lawrence Weed (2011),
the creator of the SOAP method of
note taking.

Clinical Note Taking

“Baby” from the album For You (1977)

Clinical note taking is an important part of the counseling process. It is a tool that the counselor uses to ensure that the therapeutic process is moving in a logical and progressive way. There are many ways to take clinical notes however the most common way is the SOAP (subjective, objective, assessment and plan) method. In the subjective section a counselor focus on reporting the reason for why their client came in to see them. You do not interpret their words you simply report a summary of what is said. In the objective portion the counselor reports what they observed during the session. This includes nonverbal and verbal communication (physical appearance, rate of speech, mood, etc.). The assessment part is used for the counselor to gauge if the client is progressing towards their therapeutic goal(s) or not. The last portion is where the planning for future sessions and where any homework given to the client is recorded. So, Baby, what are we gonna do? We are going to use the song “Baby” to show what this method of note taking looks like   during a counseling session. Ready? Let's go.

Baby, what are we gonna do?

I barely have enough money for two
Subjective. This is a song about Prince singing about his regrets about getting a girl pregnant (he was 17 years of age at the time). Let's assume that Prince in this song is getting therapy to work through his feelings of future fatherhood. Furthermore let's imagine that the above lyrics were spoken during the session. In the objective session a counselor might record: “The client communicated their trepidation about the financial demands of fatherhood and his lack of means to care for the child. This concern keeps him up at night. This is subjective because there is no way for the counselor to verify this, they have to subjectively believe what the client is saying. Notice there was no judgment or rationalization of what was said only what was said.

I never would've thought that this would happen
To a very careful man like me
Objective. In this segment of the note the counselor records what they observe. For this situation they might state: “The client sat in a sloughed position the entire session. He hair was uncombed and his shirt was covered in stains. He cried when he talked about how careful he was using contraception.” Again there is no interpretation of what is seen. No psychoanalysis of the crying, just a report of them.

But baby, pretty baby, we're gonna work it out.

Assessment. The counseling process is a partnership. A counselor should never decide what is best for a client. They should always partner with them. The client is an expert on being them, the counselor is an expert in helping them become better at being them. That is why the assessment component is so crucial. It allows both parties to collaborate and create a plan that will be beneficial to the client. In this section if the client said the above lyric the counselor would be inclined to believe that the client is making steps to being okay with becoming a father. Whatever interventions that were used in past sessions are creating progress to the goal the client wanted to work towards.

Baby, baby, baby
It's you, said it's you, I truly adore
Baby, baby, we're gonna work it out
I hope our baby has eyes just like yours

Plan. At this point in the session the client has moved to a place where they have decided to make the relationship with the mother of the child work. He is almost rapturous about becoming a father. Any homework or activities would be given in order to help facilitate the client being more comfortable about being a parent; therefore, a counselor might suggest the following activity: “Client agreed to talk with his girlfriend about his concerns about becoming a father including but not limited to the financial stress and the contraception concerns.” Although he has decided that this is something he is willing to do his doubts more than likely haven't gone away. Having the parents of this baby talk together early on about the stresses of parenthood will create a habit of them going to each other to deal with stress instead of other people. One last thing about clinical notes, they are absolutely confidential. The client of course can request to see them at any given time. The only other time someone else will see the notes is if they are subpoenaed by the courts and that is not an easy thing. Warrants and other legal documents have to be furnished before they are released. So if you are curious to what your counselor is writing about you, next time request them so you can see. 

Annie Christian

Fanaticism

“Annie Christian” from the album Controversy (1981)

Fundamentalism and fanaticism are not the same thing. Fundamentalism is a belief in a religious idea that places a holy text(s) as the absolute truth above science or anything else. Fanaticism is different because it is marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion to an idea (Calhoun, 2004). Usually this devotion is to a religious or political worldview but it can be found in just about every sphere of human activity including social activism, the military and all forms of entertainment (for example, football hooligans in Europe) (Paskins, 2005). Fanaticism can be good or bad depending on the motivations for why the person is acting fanatically. If someone fanatically defends someone's right to free speech (even if the speech contradicts their beliefs) or if someone channels their fanaticism for the music created by an elfin musician from Minneapolis, MN into a psychology blog, those are examples of positive fanaticism. The slave abolitionists in the 1800's and women suffragists of the 1900's are other examples of positive fanaticism. Anne Christian however is a song that addresses the negative forms of this phenomenon.

All fanaticism starts off with a little egoism (Calhoun, 2004) as does this song, Annie Christian wanted to be number 1. The fanatic believes that they have the truth, that their way of thinking is the ONLY right way. Whether it be the sports team they support or the faith they live by. The height of arrogance is for a person to believe that they alone have the truth, all the answers to life and those who think differently from them or not just wrong but are beneath them. This type of thinking can often lead to all types of distorted, unhealthy thinking (Paskins, 2005). The fanatic usually estimates themselves higher than what they actually are, The way Annie tells the story, she's His only son. We see the delusion has begun to take over Annie's mind. I'm not sure if Prince did this intentionally but by saying she's his only son I think he is trying to show us that she has gone off the deep end thinking she is male or more specifically Jesus incarnate.

Fanatics share some similar characteristics, the first of which is an uncompromising conviction about the way they view the world, they believe that their understanding is the absolute truth (Calhoun, 2004). Thinking you are God's only son is a sure sign that you believe you have the ultimate truth. Another similarity they share is actively imposing their convictions on other people. We see this regularly with religious cults, a fundamental goal of all cults is to make the world accept their faith system or else (Lundskow, 2008). The Branch Dravidian and Westboro Baptist Church cults are good examples of this. An us vs. them worldview is common among fanatics (Calhoun, 2004). An example of this is the FBI's ABSCAM (Arab Scam) sting operation. In a nutshell what happened was in the 70's Congress started investigating national complaints of police brutality. The FBI in retaliation targeted members of Congress who were active in this investigation with the ABSCAM. Undercover FBI agents would approach the Congressmen with an opportunity to illegally invest in Casinos in New Jersey (FBI, 2005). The company behind building the casinos was a made up Arabian oil company. The Congressmen took the bait and went to jail, or as this song succinctly puts it, Liar Liar Liar! got ya in a jam, put your head on the block, somebody say ABSCAM! Instead of fixing their police brutality problem the FBI saw this as an attack that justified their us vs. them mentality, their actions prove it. They fanatically defended the shield.

Annie Christian is clearly an amalgamation of many different fanatics but the character nicely demonstrates all the negative characteristics of this group of people. The last trait I want to share is the willingness to die and kill for one's beliefs. Mark David Chapman and John Hinckley shot John Lennon and Ronald Reagan, respectfully. Here, Prince makes it clear that he is using this song to talk about the fanaticism in the world when he ascribes these two shootings to Annie, She killed John Lennon, shot him down cold, she tried to kill Reagan. With those lines the amalgamation is complete. Extremism is like being bite by a poisonous insect. Often times the person doesn't realize that they have been bitten. There might be a rash or some other non-lethal sign of the trouble that is to come. But by the time it is realized that they have been bitten the only thing that can be done is for that person to live with it until they die. This is the fate of a true fanatic (Calhoun, 2004). Annie Christian, Annie Christ!

References

Calhoun, L. (2004). An anatomy of fanaticism. Peace Review, Vol. 16, No. 3, 2004, pp. 349-356.

Federal Bureau of Investigation. (2005). "A byte out of history: Remembering the lessons of ABSCAM." http://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/2005/february/abscam_020705

Lundskow, G. (2008) The sociology of religion: A substantive and transdisciplinary approach. Thousand Oaks, CA: Pine Forge Press.

Paskins, B. (2005). Fanaticism in the modern era. Fanaticism and Conflict in the Modern Age. Hughes, M., & Johnson, G. (eds.). London: Frank Cass Publishers, pp. 7-18.

The Sacrifice of Victor

Fear & Racism

“The Sacrifice of Victor” from the album O(+> (1992)

“1967 in a bus marked public schools
Rode me and a group of unsuspecting political tools
Our parents wondered what it was like 2 have another color near
So they put their babies together 2 eliminate the fear”

Months before he was assassinated in 1967 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was asked to talk to the board of the American Psychological Association to talk about the psycho-social affects that racism and segregation has on African-Americans. Here is a snippet of what he said:

“In the preface to their book, Applied Sociology (1965), S. M. Miller and Alvin Gouldner state: “It is the historic mission of the social sciences to enable mankind to take possession of society.” It follows that for Negroes who substantially are excluded from society this science is needed even more desperately than for any other group in the population. White America needs to understand that it is poisoned to its soul by racism and the understanding needs to be carefully documented and consequently more difficult to reject (King, 1967).”

It is a historical fact that during slavery Black males were pitted against each other in an effort to keep them from revolting against their slave owners (Palmer, 2006). This constant fear of slave rebellions was a real part of American life as our great nation began. After the Civil War that fear of a Black uprising intensified because now they were “free” to compete for land and jobs and Constitutionally had the right to vote. It is another sad fact that the fear of losing land, political power, job, resources, etc. to Blacks that White America unleashed a campaign of terror to dissuade African-Americans from being a part of society. They wanted them to stay in there own towns and shop at their own stores and if they dared try to be a part of society beatings, lynchings and being thrown in jail for made up vagrancy crimes (i.e. staring at a White woman) were commons tools used to get that result (Forte, 1998). The Jim Crow laws replaced the Black Codes (1800-1866). Congress passed the Civil Rights Act of 1866 which deemed the Black Codes unconstitutional because of the 13^th Amendment. But then the fear of having Blacks as equals was something White America wasn't ready for that because they feared that freedom in Black hands would pull society into chaos and lawlessness; therefore they rioted all over the nation. Most notably in Memphis and New Orleans (Forte, 1998). Later that year pro-Black Codes politicians won election and the Jim Crow laws were passed in the southern states, the federal government looked the other way so that more White riots didn't break out (Kellogg, 1982). So to be clear the North and South both agreed that they would still be legally able to discriminate against African-Americans even after the ratification of the 13^th Amendment. Take a moment and let that sink in.

I don't want this to turn into a history lesson but Dr. King is right the evil affects of racism needs to be carefully documented so that White America is forced to see the psychological damage that racism has and is doing to a group of citizens. We hear about people playing the race card, how White Privilege doesn't exits and that racism is over. If the people who make such statements, took a look at American History objectivity they would see the nonsense in their words. There is an actual fear of Black people generally and Black males specifically in America. It is not a conscious fear it's more subtle. Whenever you see a group of Black teenagers what's your first thought? Whenever you see a Black male with baggy pants walk by what's your first thought? When you hear a Black person speak loudly what's your first thought? Now in all those scenarios put White people in them, what are your first thoughts? Most racism isn't the intentional Ku Klux Klan variety it's more the under the radar a la, “She probably got this job because of Affirmative Action” variety. The fear that Blacks or minorities are taking over or have an upper hand causes these sorts of thoughts. Their is an inherent non-logical component to racism, how can someone be fundamentally different from me because of their melanin? Are blue sharks fundamentally different from bronze sharks because their skin is a different color? The irrationality that is racism is a taught concept born out of fear and psychological projections of an individuals insecurities (Wright, 2009). We all need to evaluate ourselves mentally and find what is it in us that makes us think less of a person because of something they have no control over. We are all responsible for the scourge of racism we have to be honest with ourselves and do the hard work of dealing with our own issues instead of blaming others.

In the above lyrics Prince tells a story that may or may not be autobiographical but we know the story that is told here took place all over America during the Civil Rights movement. He talks about how parents were using their children to “eliminate” their fear. The United States government (state and federal) were actively fighting to prevent a group of citizens from getting equal rights (for example being paid the same wage for the same work as White people). That subtle fear had come to the foreground and violence was the government's response just like during slavery, just like during Reconstruction and just like now with the epidemic of unarmed minorities being killed by law enforcement. The psychological result of fear is anger and anger almost always leads to violence of some sort. America, the people should heed the advice of Dr. King and carefully chronicle this fear that has permeated our shared history so that we can deal with it effectively. If we don't this fear will continue to tear us apart. Let's stop teaching our children to see themselves as different based on race. Let's stop teaching them to fear others because of skin color because in the immortal words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Not African-Americans, not Latinos, not the LGBT community, or any other disenfranchised group. Let's put our babies together to eliminate racial fear so that racism can finally fall.

References

Forte, D. F., (1998). Spiritual equality, the black codes, and the americanization of the freedmen, Loyola Law Review (43) 605-608.

Kellogg, J., (1982). The formation of black residential areas in Lexington, Kentucky, 1865-1887. The Journal of Southern History, 48(1), 21–52.

King, M. L. (1967). Journal of Social Issues 24(1).

Palmer, Vernon Valentine (2006). The customs of slavery: The war without arms. American Journal of Legal History 2 (48): 177.

Wright, D. & Taylor, D.M. (2009).The social psychology of cultural diversity: Social prejudice, stereotyping and discrimination,The SAGE Handbook of Social Psychology, Concise Student Edition. M. Hogg & J. Cooper (Eds.), Los Angeles, CA: SAGE Publications, pps. 361-387.  

What Do You Want Me 2 Do?

Prairie Voles and Male Fidelity

“What Do U Want Me 2 Do” from the album Musicology (2004)

"I see you picked me out like you want something
But shame on you, baby, can't you see this ring?
I got a woman, you got a man
So we got to do what's right"

What do male prairie voles and male humans have in common? It turns out we both have a part in our brains that controls the desire to form close relational ties according to Professor Larry Young, Ph.D (Wrobel, 2010). It is a gene that manages the release of vasopressin. Vasopressin is a hormone that activates receptors in the brain to regulate behavior (Wrobel, 2010). In male prairie voles, vasopressin helps keep the male close to his mate and in turn keeps the female competition far away. It stimulates bonding centers in the brain which makes them feel attached and protective of their partner. Oxytocin in women acts the same way that vasopressin works in men. So now we know that biology plays a part in male fidelity (Wrobel, 2010). Does that mean that biology in the main factor that will determine how faithful someone will be?

According to John Gottman & Nan Silver (2012) the answer is no. Self-control is a major reason why men cheat. Whether it be for sexual or emotional reasons men simply cheat because they choose to. Many men have the option to cheat and they don't. The raconteur in this song illustrates that choice: I see you picked me out like you want something, But shame on you, baby, can't you see this ring? He is clearly aware that a sexual encounter can happen but he is not interested in straying from his mate. His vasopressin is clearly flowing freely. Yes it's true that men struggle with self-control based on a plethora of things such as upbringing, religious beliefs, cultural climate, marital happiness, etc and so forth but when it comes down to it a choice has to be made, to cheat or not to cheat (Gottman, & Silver, 2012).

A lot men of men put themselves in a position where they are more likely to cheat. If you know that you have a weakness for a certain type of person then don't put yourself in a situation that will increase your chances to cheat, don't be alone with that person, keep it professional, keep boundaries, etc. Regardless of the decision you make there will be consequences. Some men go into affairs without thinking about the results of it. They don't think about the lost relationships both family and friend wise. Infidelity is a huge deal to a lot of people and how your affair will affect you socially and familial should always be factored in. The lines I got a woman, you got a man, so we got to do what's right is great advice when you think about the long term affects that an affair can have on a person's life.

References

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last?: How to build trust and avoid betrayal. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Wrobel, S. (2010). Why do voles fall in love: And what that means for human health. Emory Health Journal, Spring (1-4).

Sister

Incest and Learned Helplessness

“Sister” from the album Dirty Mind (1980)

“Oh, sister
Don't put me on the street again
Oh, sister
I just want to be your friend”

Any sexual contact with a child can unleash a constellation of dysfunction on the victim. But sexual contact between family members creates so many debilitating problems that few victims are able to overcome them. One of these problems is confusing sexual contact with acceptance and validation. Some who have suffered through this tragedy often have thoughts such as “My dad only told me he loved me after he would rape me” or “I only felt validated when I could satisfy my dad sexually.” This confusion causes many to use sex as a means to feel self-worth which leads to promiscuity and prostitution. Also victims of incest still feel affection and love towards their abuser. They defend them and sometimes delude themselves that what is happening to them is not bad, “My brother would never hurt me, this can't be wrong” or “Daddy says I'm the love of his life, he would never hurt me.” This cognitive dissonance is expressed in this song with the lyrics: Oh, sister, don't put me on the street again, oh, sister, I just want to be your friend.”

This is perhaps the strangest song lyrically in the entire oeuvre of Prince. In it the narrator shares how his sister takes his virginity, prostitutes him on the street, physically abuses him yet he still clamors for her acceptance and love. Why on earth would someone still want to be loved by someone who routinely abuses them? It turns out that helplessness can become a learned behavior. In 1965 Martin Seligman conducted an experiment in which dogs were caged up and forced to endure harmful electric shocks with no way to escape. A second group of dogs were administered the same painful shocks but they were allowed to escape. After a a few rounds of shocks the first group were shocked again, this time with escape now a possibility, they did not leave (Maier, S.F. & Seligman, M. E., 1976). They had been conditioned to endure pain.

As humans we can learn to endure all types of pain whether it be physical or mental pain (Vastag, B., 2003). That is why it is hard for those who haven't suffered abuse to understand Battered Spouse Syndrome or Stockholm Syndrome. Just as sure as the aforementioned dogs were shocked into enduring pain, victims of incest are emotionally shocked into enduring their pain. We all want and need to be loved. If those in our lives are abusive towards us, we can learn to accept that abuse as a form of love.

References

Maier, S. F. & Seligman, M. E. Learned helplessness: Theory and evidence. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, Vol. 105(1), Mar 1976, 3-46.

Vastag B. Scientists find connections in the brain between physical and emotional pain. The Journal of the American Medical Association, 2003, 290(18): 2389-2390.