Pearls B4 the Swine

Religious Sectarian Conflicts

“Pearls B4 the Swine” from the album One Nite Alone (2002)

When we hear headlines about the sectarian violence in Syria, Iraq and other Middle Eastern countries we are justifiably horrified with the level of violence exacted in those conflicts. We also attribute this type of religious violence to the time period of the Middle Ages. Although sectarian religious violence did occur during that time period it has happened before and after. The modern conflict between the Sunni and Shia Muslims mirrors the same conflict that existed between Catholic and Protestant Christians from the 1500's-1700's. While the Age of Reason and Scientific Discovery was sweeping the continent of Europe so was ISIS level of religious violence. This song Pearls B4 the Swine is Prince of Prince's thoughts on the conflict in the Middle East.

 When members of a religious group believe that spiritual salvation, social objectives and political aspirations can only be satisfied through adhering to a specific religious code that they adhere to and those who are seen as external threats to that religious code must be eliminated (Manning, 2004). The modern Middle East is not the only place on earth today where religious sectarian conflicts are murdering people and dragging regions into violence. The current Catholic/Protestant conflict in Northern Ireland and the Sunni/Shia conflict in Somalia are tragic reminders that this type of human behavior continues. We know that this behavior exists so how do we stop it?

Of course that is a difficult question to answer because if we had the answer we would've used it by now. Although sectarian conflicts are complicated and hard to resolve history has shown us some lessons we can apply to today to help us find peaceful options in our modern world. First off we have to remember that sectarian mindsets are born out of fanaticism. To learn more about that click here http://princeandpsychology.blogspot.com/2015/06/annie-christian.html. This is an ego driven way to view the world (Manning, 2004). If you are willing to commit murder over religious dogma than you definitely have an ego problem and more than likely a mental disorder. So what can we do to stop people like this?

King Ferdinand II of Bohemia

Let's look to 16^th century Germany for some insight. One of the most bloodiest sectarian conflicts was the Thirty Years' War (1618-1648) which happened in Germany but succeeded into dragging just about every European nation into the conflict. During this time Germany was a lot like the Middle East, there was political instability, shifting boundaries and allegiances, entrenched religious division and outside influences from other nations for political reasons (Konnert, 2008). Most of the land was controlled by territorial Princes and each territory had their own local customs and beliefs the only thing that united them was a common ethnicity and language. Their were Catholic and Protestant territories all throughout Germany (Konnert, 2008). The Thirty Years' War is a profoundly complicated war to try to understand (just like the current situation in the Middle East) but I think a quick recap would be beneficial. It started when King Ferdinand II of Bohemia who was zealously Catholic decided that he wanted all the land in The Holy Roman Empire (which Germany was a part of) to be practicing Catholics (Konnert, 2008). He started by having meetings with Protestants to see if they would be kind enough to give up their heretic faith. “If I leave my front door open, Would you come and visit me? Just to slander my name hopin' That I would pack my bags and leave.” Indeed he just wanted them to leave and when slander and threats didn't work he chose violence and then the Protestants revolted.

Instead of dealing with the king themselves the Protestants in Bohemia reached out to other Protestant nations (Great Britain, the Dutch Republic and Denmark) for military help (Sturmberger). Ferdinand in turn reached out the Catholic nations of Spain and the Papal States (Italy) for help (Sturmberger). Beheading, rape, pillaging and other immoral acts followed from both sides in the name of God. Instead of seeking compromise both sides chose to believe that the other side were heretics, infidels and agents of Satan that must be purged from earth. We hear this same language today in sectarian conflicts. The first 10 years of this war was principally fought by the German states with foreign aid. In the mid 1620's this war became a power play for the major nations that had things to gain politically from this war, chiefly Sweden, France, Spain and Austria (Konnert, 2008). These nations poured countless resources into building armies to sent to the German states to fight for their political goals. Just like what is happening today in the Middle East, Western nations are pouring ridiculous amounts of resources to fight to achieve their political goals. A lot of the time it is for honorable reasons (to stop murder, invasions, etc.) but when you use violence against people who are willing to both murder and be murdered for religious reasons it's a bit like trying to hold sand in your hands. So why did this war end?

Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi, head of ISIS

After awhile the loss of life, resources and the devastation no longer outweighed their adherence to their sectarian code. Both sides realized that neither was backing down and compromise now seem like a better option to continuing the war. Their were attempts at peace treaties and all types of political maneuvering to try to quell the violence and nothing worked (Konnert, 2008). This war started out because of religious reasons had Germany been left to it's own devices the carnage of war would have forced them to compromise a lot sooner. Unfortunately foreign resources and soldiers started pouring into their country which became the fuel that allowed this war to go on for so long. People with a mindset like this cannot be reasoned with, there is no political option that will resolve the current crisis in Syria. The narcissism that says, “Convert or die” is evil. The Western world seems committed to do what Sweden and Spain did 400 years ago, getting involved in a sectarian war for political reasons. History shows that political stance tends to exacerbate sectarian violence not roll it back. The question, Are we better off just fighting, You on your side, me on mine? has to be answered. When the answer is no, than the “enemy” can be seen as another creation of God that is worthy of grace not murder. “Can I offer you baklava, Or a bagel with cream cheese?, Will we say grace to our father, Holding hands down on our knees?” The willingness to break bread with each other must take hold in hearts for this type of violence to stop. During The Reformation Catholics and Protestants would murder each other now all across the world they accept the religious views of one another and pray together, eat other and wed each other because they realized the fighting is no longer worth it.

References

Konnert, M. W. (2008). Early modern Europe: The age of religious war, 1559-1715. Toronto: University of Toronto Press. 

Manning, S. T. (2004). Psychology, symbolism, and the sacred: Confronting religious dysfunction in a changing world. Ostego, Mi: PageFree.

Sturmberger, Hans."Ferdinand II (Holy Roman emperor) : Introduction - Britannica Online Encyclopedia.” Britannica.com. Retrieved 2015-08-03.

Beginning Endlessly

The Scientific Method: A Brand New Story in the Making

“Beginning Endlessly” from the album 20TEN (2010)

Have you ever wanted to conduct a psychological study of your own? I knew it! The field of psychology, like other sciences uses the scientific method when conducting research and it bases the results from research on empirical evidence (information obtained by observation or experimentation). The five basic steps of the scientific method are as follows:

1. Create a hypothesis (question) that can be tested
2. Design a study and collect data
3. Analyze results and reach conclusions
4. Share the results with the scientific community
5. Replicate the results
   Every new experiment is A brand new story in the making, the scientific process is always beginning endlessly.

Pick a problem or question to research

Why should you be satisfied with just heaven and earth? Every scientific inquiry begins with a question. From the beginning of time man has asked questions that lead to scientific discoveries. Mankind has not been satisfied with just heaven and earth but there are so many unanswered questions out there that need to be answered. Three common methods psychologists use to uncover a question to investigate are: find an everyday problem (What is the best way to deal with road rage?), investigate a societal belief (Are males more sexually active than females?) or research already published psychology literature to find a question that needs further examination.

Define your variables

Once you have your question picked out you have to define your variables. A variable is anything that could influence the results of your study. When doing experiments that involve humans there are many that have to be considered (mood, hunger, design of laboratory, etc.). Inside all of us are minerals and chemicals of space, the complexity of the human body makes experimenting accurately very challenging. When defining the variables you are using you have to describe how they are measured in the context of your study. For instance if you were conducting a study on how Prince's music affects a female's willingness to have sex you would need to concretely define what you mean by Prince's music, you might define it as: having listened to five sexually explicit songs by him (Scandalous, Insatiable, Sexy Dancer, Do Me, Baby and Shh). Willingness to have sex could be defined as: after listening to the music, increased blood flow to the clitoris. It is very important to define your variables so that they remain constant between all participants.This is especially true for the independent variable (IV). The IV is the thing that is being manipulated so that we can study it, in this experiment Prince's music is the IV. The dependent variable (DV) is the willingness to have sex.

Hypothesis

Humanity is naturally curious, we constantly ponder the sublime questions. Are we made of stardust?
If you look around there's so much more to the universe, Maybe every shining star, is just another part [of us]. As well as more vulgar one's like in our example above. Once we have our question we next formulate a hypothesis. A hypothesis is a concise statement that states what the point of the experiment is, for example: After listening to Prince's music women will be more willing to engage in sexual activity than women who do not. Once we have or hypothesis we then construct a null hypothesis. A null hypothesis is required in any experiment because it helps to show if a study is clinically significant or not. A null hypothesis is the prediction that one variable will have no association to the other variable. For our purposes that would mean that Prince's music has no affect on female whether a female will want to have sex or not. At the end of the experiment the researcher has to look at the data, analyze it and see which is true the hypothesis or the null hypothesis.

Do Your Research

History is full of praise for another's history. This is so true for this step in the process. During your research you will praise those who came before you because most of the work you will find has been done already. A great place to start is The Educational Resources Information Center (ERIC) this website has over a million references that researchers commonly use. As you research take notes and gather resources that can assist you in your experiment. You can use books, peer reviewed articles and websites. I would avoid any Dr. Oz related resources though. In our example we might look for research on music's affect on the female brain, sexuality and music, pop music's affect on cultural attitudes towards sex. Stuff like that. Make sure you start creating a bibliography of all the sources you used because a study without any sources might be okay with Dr. Phil but it will not be accepted by the scientific community. How many sources should you use? The more the better.

Choose the type of experiment you want to do

There are many different experiment formats to follow but we will talk about the three most common. First up is the True Experiment Format. This is the one most of us are familiar with. In this experiment there are two groups the control group (the group of ladies who will not be hearing any Prince music instead they will hear non-sexual classical music) and the experimental group (this group will get the sexy Prince music). All participants will be randomly assigned to one of these groups. After the IV has been administered both groups will have the DV (blood flow down there) measured to see if there was a noticeable difference between the two groups. The second experiment format is the Pre-experimental one. Here there is no control group instead one group is administered the IV and then are studied. For example each participant is given a test before the experiment and then after to see if the IV had a significant affect on them. Case studies are a popular way to conduct a Pre-experimental study. The last format we will look at is the Qusai-experiment format. This format does include a control group but randomization does not take place.

Standardization of process

Left alone with our devices, whatever will be will be. This is so true, if we don't have rigid implementation in studies then reliable results cannot be obtained. It's best to have someone help you with this step so that you get another perspective to ensure that you have accounted for as many variables as possible. Standardization means you determine exactly how you are going to conduct the experiment. In other words, construct your experiment so that others can conduct it the same way you did because the last step in the Scientific Method is replication. If the results cannot be replicated they are not reliable. When testing the participants all the conditions have to be the same for all participants in the control group (if you are using one) and the experimental group. So all the women who are in the experimental group will all be exposed to the IV in the same way (same song order, temperature in the room, amount of rest, etc.). The more similar you can make the experiment the greater chance you have to have an accurate study because you didn't allow outside variables in to distort or confound the results. Of course you can never get 100% control over all the variables that's why you will never see a study that is 100% accurate.

Select Your Lab Rats

Two main ways of doing this are a simple random sample (randomly choosing people from the population) and a stratified random sample (a random sample that draws from subsets in the population, subsets could include geographic location, age, sex, race, or socioeconomic status). Once you select the group to experiment on you should ensure that each candidate is a good pick for the experiment. For instance you wouldn't want someone who only listens to Christian music, has a strong aversion towards Prince or is a Prince fanatic to be part of the study because they could skew the results. You might administer a questionnaire beforehand to help eliminate these sorts of participants.

Conduct the experiment and collect the data

Safety first, before you start experimenting on anyone you have to make sure that your experiment is ethical. The famous Stanford Prison Experiment today would be considered unethical if you are not familiar with that study please visit here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment. It was a fascinating study that will make you lose faith in humanity (think Abu Ghraib). Whatever institution you are conducting the experiment for will require you to submit the details of your study to their Institutional Review Board to make sure you are ethically sound. Next you would obtain written consent from your participants letting them know of the process and the potential risks they could encounter. Now you are free to start experimenting and collecting data! If you are like me and have a strong aversion to numbers than use the Statistical Package for the Social Sciences (SPSS), it is a computer program that will do all the computations for you as you collect your data. The internet is great!

Analyze the data

Did the data support your hypothesis or the null hypothesis? This is the tricky part of the scientific method you have to determine did Prince's music truly cause increased blood flow to the clitoris or was it something else? Or was there no noticeable difference? This is where a Type I error and Type II error can derail an experiment. Type I error is when the researcher rejects the null hypothesis when they should accept it. A Type II error is when you accept the null hypothesis when you should reject it.

Peer Review

You've made it to the last step. You write up your results using the APA (American Psychological Association) professional journal format which has the following sections: title page, abstract, introduction, method, results, discussion, references, tables and figures. Finally you submit it to the board of a professional journal so that they can review it and determine if your experiment was executed correctly. If so congratulations you now have added to the scientific process! Now wasn't that fun?

Reference

Mitchoff, Kate Houston. "Scientific method." Teacher Librarian 34.4 (2007): 51.

Positivity

Gestalt Therapy: An Overview

“Positivity” from the album Lovesexy (1988)

Gestalt therapy (German for “the whole”) is defined as an existential form of psychotherapy. Existentialism is primarily concerned with affirming or implying the human experience. What this means is that we find truth through experience. It is noted as being highly experiential because counseling sessions include active exercises such as role plays and the “empty chair” technique (where a client would talk to an empty chair as if it was another person or another part of them). This form of therapy stresses personal responsibility and focuses on the individual's experience in the here-and-now. Counselors who operate from this theoretical background believe that a person's socioeconomic situation, physical environment, the therapeutic relationship and the internal constructs they have created results in their current life situation. This is why it is called gestalt/whole therapy because the whole of the person is examined not just the cognitive part like so many other theories.

Fritz Perls circa 1922, the father
of Gestalt Therapy

Fritz Perls, Laura Perls and Paul Goodman first created Gestalt Therapy (GT) in the 1930's. It is focused on the process of counseling (what is literally happening) instead of the content (what is being talked about). For example a client might say, “I think about killing my wife sometimes” and instead of addressing the statement the counselor might address the fact that the person's hands were trembling when they made that statement. Prominence is given to what is physically happening, the thoughts, and feeling at the present moment for both the client and counselor instead of what should have been, what was, could be, or might be. This form of therapy these days is called “mindfulness” therapy. The purpose of GT is to empower the client to become free from barriers caused by unfinished business that usually hampers fulfillment, satisfaction, growth, and the discovery of new ways of being. Unfinished business is any unresolved feeling(s) or thought(s) and this is what causes mental dysfunction. GT therapists do not believe that people are bad or good; therefore people should be viewed in light of their environment. The song Positivity shares this worldview. In the opening chorus we are introduced to a man that has presumably committed a criminal act:

Is that a good man, Walking down that street with that money in his hand, Is that a good man? Why do you dog him, If that was your father, tell me, Would you dog him then? Here the narrator is asking us to view this man in the context of his environment. Sure he committed a criminal act, does that mean he is a bad man? Or is he a product of his environment? Would teaching him new ways of living (being) change our view of him? In the third verse we meet a young boy who is in a less than desirable socioeconomic situation. Can a boy who drops out of school, At thirteen years of age, Answer the truth about life and death, When it slaps him in the face? Who's to blame when he's got no place to go? And all he's got is the sense to know, That a life of crime'll help him beat you in the race. More cognitive minded people might label this child with Oppositional defiant disorder, Fritz Perls and those of his ilk would say he just needs to resolve the unfinished business in his life and change his environment.

During counseling sessions the GT therapist is attempting to find out what mechanism the client is using to deal with the unfinished business. Are they in denial, suffering from cognitive dissonance, abusing drugs, etc.? A Gestalt based session might have an exchange like this:

Client: I feel so stressed.

Counselor: What has caused this stress?

Client: My kids made a mess of the house before I left to come over here now I have a huge mess waiting for me at home!

Counselor: Why is having to clean up a mess in the future causing you stress now?

Client: Cleaning up has always caused stress in me. My mother use to always tell us how much of a pain it is to clean up after us.

The counselor would then get the client to focus on the stress she is feeling right now and describe the thoughts that are going through her mind. By doing this he is “anchoring” her to the stressful feeling so that she can process through them and see that the cause is due to unresolved feelings towards her mother. By focusing on the here-and-now the client can make those connections so that they can resolve them in the present. GT therapists do not like to talk about the past much so you will not hear them ask questions like, “Tell me about your childhood...” or “How did your mom and dad get along growing up?” This theory is about finding your true self - mind, body and soul and making it one complete whole, not fragmented. Mankind is inclined to seek out Love and honesty, peace and harmony and during that search you must hold on to your soul so that the whole you can experience life to the fullest.

References

Sommers-Flanagan, J. & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2012). Counseling and Psychotherapy Theories in Context and Practice: Skills, Strategies, and Techniques, 2nd edition. John Wiley & Sons: New York.

Woldt, A. & Toman, S. (2005). Gestalt Therapy: History, Theory and Practice. Sage Publications: New York.

I Love U In Me & Horny Toad

Evolution & Human Mating Strategies

“I Love U In Me” b-side of the single The Arms of Orion (1989), “Horny Toad” b-side of the single Delirious (1982)

When it comes to finding a partner that will mate with us there are a plethora of variables that must be considered. One of the more strident questions is “Is this person what I'm looking for in a sexual mate?” Since the dawning of mankind this has been a question man has had to answer. Once we resolve this question and decide to start a relationship with that person the question of sexual fidelity becomes the ever present question that runs in the background of the relationship like a computer's operating system.

The field of Evolutionary Psychology argues that humanity has constructed different mating strategies to guarantee their reproductive success (Schmitt, 2007). There are two main strategies that people adopt. The first is the monogamy method this is the restricted strategy and it requires commitment to and emotional investment in a relationship from a partner before sexual intercourse can occur (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007). The lyrics from “I Love U In Me” speaks to the intimacy of sex that is central to this commitment based method of mating, Our bodies sink in a pool of sweat, It's the kind of love that you never forget,With you honey, I'm the richest in the world, I don't need money 'cause you're my girl.

The other major mating method is less restrictive in nature. This unrestricted method requires little or no emotional commitment or investment in the relationship and the person may be willing to engage in sexual relations quickly with a prospective partner (Schmitt, 2007). Love and romance are not necessarily prerequisites to sex for those who embrace this strategy. Lines like, I don't love you I'm just a horny toad and All I want is to rub your body, I can't help it I'm just a horny toad from “Horny Toad” show the emotional detachment that those who vibe with an unrestricted sexual worldview often approach sexual encounters. Studies show that generally men are higher than women are in the unrestricted strategy (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007). The historical evolutionary perspective has been that men tend to be less sexually restricted than women because they invest less in reproduction and have the potential ability to impregnate many partners (Schmitt, 2007). Whereas, women invest heavily in reproduction and they can only have one pregnancy at a time (Schmitt, 2007). Knowing this women should be expected to be more selective than men in regard to who they have sexual intercourse with. Yet this is not always the case because there are some women that have an unrestricted orientation, while some men adopt a sexually restrictive stance and are sexually faithful to their partners.

To explain this behavior, evolutionary psychologists in recent history have developed more sophisticated theories that acknowledge that each individual may choose from more than one kind of mating strategy regardless of their sex (Schmitt, 2007). Females who adopt a restricted sexual stance will seek out sexual partners who display a willingness to invest emotion, time and resources into the relationship and provide for her future children (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007 ). Females with an unrestricted sexual standpoint might seek out partners who show signs of desirable genes that are congruent with reproductive success, in order to pass those genes onto her children (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007). In other words they seek to mate with men who are physically attractive and/or have high social status. These kinds of men typically will find these unrestricted women preferable to the more restricted type who demand more monogamy, as they seek out to mate with as many women as possible (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007 ). Men who consider themselves less desirable (lower on the social ladder, not physically attractive, etc.) might have less of a chance of being successful in mating with many partners; therefore they will adopt a restricted orientation in order to appeal to restricted women because they realize with these types of partners they might not need money 'cause they have a restricted minded girl (Markey, P., & Markey, C., 2007).

These two broad strategies tends to maintain a balance over time because the people who live by one strategy tend to compete most vigorously with those in the same orientation (Schmitt, 2007). For example a man who has a mate that adopts an unrestricted stance has to primarily be concerned with people that adhere to an unrestricted stance. Generally speaking people who have a restricted view of sexuality do not seek to mate and settle down with those who don't. Let me once again state these are but two of many different mating patterns. We did not touch on open relationships, sex only relationships or sexual relationships based on monetary gain, there are too many different strategies that cannot be covered in a blog post. For those interested in hearing about this other mating strategies check out the article: Sexual Strategies Theory: An evolutionary perspective on human mating by David M. Buss and David Schmitt. Human genes are not monolithic. Just as sure as there are different eye colors, resistance to disease and mental abilities there are different mating patterns within mankind. Happy mating everyone.

References

Markey, P. M., & Markey, C. N. (2007). The interpersonal meaning of sexual promiscuity. Journal of Research in Personality, 41(6), 1199-1212.

Schmitt, D. P. (2007). Sexual Strategies Across Sexual Orientations. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 18(2-3), 183-214.

Let's Go Crazy

Dr. Everything'll Be Alright & Dr. Kevorkian

“Let's Go Crazy” from the album Purple Rain (1984)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to talk about euthanasia. This is a very polarizing topic to discuss because it strikes at the core of our humanity, life. Whether for religious reasons (all life is sacred) or humanistic reasons (the continuation of the species is the reason we evolve) people have strong feelings about Physician Aid in-Dying (PAD). There are many ethical and moral considerations on both sides of this discussion to be considered when determining whether this should be a legal option or not. There are so many different arguments for and against it but we will limit this article to three of them. The first reason we will look at for wanting euthanasia to to be legal is quality of life vs. the sanctity of life.

If you don't like the world you're living in
Take a look around you
At least you got friends

Quality of life vs. Sanctity of life. This argument states that individuals have the right to choose whether quality of life or sanctity of life is more important to them. In situations where people are suffering intense pain or are profoundly limited in their daily lives by illness, or they are completely dependent on medication or other people to get through life; proponents of euthanasia would argue people have a right to choose quality of life over the sanctity of life (APS, 2008). Those who oppose PAD contend that people who are considering this option, they are in emotional and physical duress, it is scientific fact that the more stress we are under the more our decision-making abilities degrade and because of that these sufferers should not be legally allowed to make a life or death decision (Cleiren, M; Diekstra, R.F.; Kerkhof, A.J.& Van Der Wal, J., 1994). Oftentimes people who express a desire to end their life may be impacted by a state of depression, constant pain or dysphoria (Cleire, M., et al., 1994). These conditions often can be relieved or lessened with proper treatment. If people in this condition are given proper care, some argue that they may no longer want to die (APS, 2008). In the above lyrics Prince speaks about this. People sometime get so desperate that they become hopeless; people become hopeless when they decide there is no hope. Every once in awhile we have to take a look around. Even if we are dying of cancer, even if we are paralyzed no matter how bad life is there is still some good. Someone might be dying of cancer and are in constant pain but what if they have loved ones who love them and don't want to let them go. Maybe a war vet lost both his legs to an IED and their spouse left them because they couldn't accept this new change. He might still have health care and with it gets top notch rehab that allows them a new lease on life. This new vigor causes them to seek out love again and find the true love of their life. Of course there are times to be distraught, grief stricken and depressed but not all the time. If you are looking for hope you will find it, if you stop looking for it you won't find it.

We're all excited
But we don't know why
Maybe it's 'cause
We're all gonna die

To allow regulation of procedures regarding euthanasia. It is common knowledge that even though PAD is illegal in most states it still occurs just like gambling, drug use and other illegal activities. Legal recognition would enable regulators to be draft laws to prevent harm to those seeking out PAD (mandatory counseling for patients and families, discussions about modes of death with physicians, etc.) (APS, 2008). However, by making euthanasia legal that opens the door to the possibility of coercion or the loss of autonomy. With this as a legal option some people may become pressured by family members or caregivers to ask for PAD (APS, 2008). Or the guilt and/or burden they place on others might weigh on their minds so much that they seek out death and their perception might be wrong because just because they feel like they are a burden to their caregivers, the caregivers might see it as an act of love, not a burden (Cleire, M., et al., 1994). Also the ethical issue cuts both ways because if euthanasia became legal than medical professionals who oppose it would be forced into violating their own morality. In addition, we have to remember that mankind has a natural preoccupation with suffering or as Dostoevsky so eloquently put in the novel Notes from Underground, “Man is sometimes extraordinarily in love with suffering, that is a fact”. We all sometimes enjoy suffering. Sometimes we find comfort in pain and sadness so we seek it out. That's why for every poppy love song there is an emo song that ruminates on death and lost love. For every romantic comedy movie there are horror films and sad dramatic films. This fascination with death Sigmund Freud called it thanatos. Sometimes the anticipation of death is something that we become fixated on. This natural concern for death can become unhealthy when it becomes an obsession (Cleire, M., et al., 1994).

Dr. Everything'll be alright
Will make everything go wrong
Pills and thrills and daffodils will kill
Hang tough children

To reduce the legal jeopardy of those who implement euthanasia. Many people including those in the medical believe ethically in the practice of euthanasia (APS, 2008). Even some in the religious community believe in euthanasia. The way that the laws are now those who euthanize another person are subject to legal punishment even when it is determined that the death sprung from a request from the sufferer, and that the motives behind it were empathy and compassion, not malice or any criminal reason (APS, 2008). The argument here is that those who ethically and morally believe in PAD have no legal protection. Some counter this stance by saying that a legal adoption of euthanasia could lead to a reduction of earnest efforts in diagnosis, treatment, and long term care (APS, 2008). Prince alludes to this when he says, Dr. Everything'll be alright, will make everything go wrong, physicians are people too and sometimes people will take shortcuts. Doctors tell patients that everything will be okay but even the most well meaning physician can make a mistake. Every year there are thousands of malpractice lawsuits against doctors and the availability of euthanasia might push some to lean on it to protect themselves from potential lawsuits. Furthermore, it might be cheaper for insurance companies or families members to euthanize a person (APS, 2008). Life is hard but at the same time it is joyous. We only get one life and no matter side you land on this debate, I hope we take to heart the line, Hang tough children.

References

The Australian Psychological Society, Ltd. (2008). Psychological perspectives on euthanasia and the terminally: An APS discussion paper prepared by a working group of the directorate of social issues. Level (11): 1-26.

Cleiren, M; Diekstra, R.F.; Kerkhof, A.J.; Van Der Wal, J. (1994). Mode of death and kinship in bereavement: Focusing on "who" rather than "how." Crisis 15 (1): 22–36.

Love

I Love You, Now Change

“Love” from the album 3121 (2006)

When it comes to romantic relations many things can go wrong. People frequently adopt interpersonal skills without much evaluation (Howell, 2012). For example many people try to win arguments instead of using the argument as an opportunity to understand more about the other person. When you stop to think about it, trying to win an argument is another way of forcing your point of view on someone else. Don't you enjoy it when people do that to you? Of course not but we consistently do that to our romantic partners. Another pitfall people fall into is trying to make their mate into the person they want them to be.

Stop giving me your wish list
Love is free from all this

We cannot fashion people into the person we want them to be. If you are in a healthy relationship with someone who is not abusive in anyway, who validates you, makes you feel safe and understood and strives to love you that is a great base for a relationship. Be happy if you have that because many people do not. We all have our wish list for what we want from our mate whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual (Howell, 2012). What we have to remember is that they have one too yet they chose to start a relationship with us (Howell, 2012). As we grow with our partner we will naturally change but we cannot try to force someone to be something they are not. Remember why you fell in love with them in the first place instead of focusing on what you want them to be. Love truly is free from all this because love seeks to be one with someone else, not force someone to be “the one” you want.

Stop telling me what you want me to hear
Stop telling me what you want me to fear

A curious thing that happens when we try to make someone into a person they are not. We become a person we don't want to be. At best we become domineering at worse we become parental. When you have the view that you can mold someone to be what you want them to be you have dramatically changed the relationship dynamic (Howell, 2012). Parents are charged with the social responsibility of shaping another human being, romantic partners are not. We are to partner with our lovers and together become better people so that the couple can function in a healthy way. When we start dictating how another adult should think and act we become their parent. No one wants to date their parents.

From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks
Love is whatever, whatever you want it to be

Love is one of those words that is full of so many meanings so much so that it means so many different things to different people. Yet it really is whatever we want it to be. If we see love as something that must be earned then we will strive to be perfect and worthy of it. If we see love as something painful, then it will be painful to us. If we see it as a life affirming gift that is given between people than that's what it will be. If we are trying to change someone else it says more about us than the other person. If we feel that another person needs to change in order for us to be happy with them, we have something inside us that needs to be addressed (Howell, 2012). Or to put it another way, From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Whatever we speak communicates what is truly in our heart. Deal with what is lacking in you because when it comes down to it the only person you can change is you.

Reference

Howe, T. R. (2012). Marriages and families in the 21st century: A bioecological approach. Chichester, West Sussex: Wiley-Blackwell.

Baby

Dr. Lawrence Weed (2011),
the creator of the SOAP method of
note taking.

Clinical Note Taking

“Baby” from the album For You (1977)

Clinical note taking is an important part of the counseling process. It is a tool that the counselor uses to ensure that the therapeutic process is moving in a logical and progressive way. There are many ways to take clinical notes however the most common way is the SOAP (subjective, objective, assessment and plan) method. In the subjective section a counselor focus on reporting the reason for why their client came in to see them. You do not interpret their words you simply report a summary of what is said. In the objective portion the counselor reports what they observed during the session. This includes nonverbal and verbal communication (physical appearance, rate of speech, mood, etc.). The assessment part is used for the counselor to gauge if the client is progressing towards their therapeutic goal(s) or not. The last portion is where the planning for future sessions and where any homework given to the client is recorded. So, Baby, what are we gonna do? We are going to use the song “Baby” to show what this method of note taking looks like   during a counseling session. Ready? Let's go.

Baby, what are we gonna do?

I barely have enough money for two
Subjective. This is a song about Prince singing about his regrets about getting a girl pregnant (he was 17 years of age at the time). Let's assume that Prince in this song is getting therapy to work through his feelings of future fatherhood. Furthermore let's imagine that the above lyrics were spoken during the session. In the objective session a counselor might record: “The client communicated their trepidation about the financial demands of fatherhood and his lack of means to care for the child. This concern keeps him up at night. This is subjective because there is no way for the counselor to verify this, they have to subjectively believe what the client is saying. Notice there was no judgment or rationalization of what was said only what was said.

I never would've thought that this would happen
To a very careful man like me
Objective. In this segment of the note the counselor records what they observe. For this situation they might state: “The client sat in a sloughed position the entire session. He hair was uncombed and his shirt was covered in stains. He cried when he talked about how careful he was using contraception.” Again there is no interpretation of what is seen. No psychoanalysis of the crying, just a report of them.

But baby, pretty baby, we're gonna work it out.

Assessment. The counseling process is a partnership. A counselor should never decide what is best for a client. They should always partner with them. The client is an expert on being them, the counselor is an expert in helping them become better at being them. That is why the assessment component is so crucial. It allows both parties to collaborate and create a plan that will be beneficial to the client. In this section if the client said the above lyric the counselor would be inclined to believe that the client is making steps to being okay with becoming a father. Whatever interventions that were used in past sessions are creating progress to the goal the client wanted to work towards.

Baby, baby, baby
It's you, said it's you, I truly adore
Baby, baby, we're gonna work it out
I hope our baby has eyes just like yours

Plan. At this point in the session the client has moved to a place where they have decided to make the relationship with the mother of the child work. He is almost rapturous about becoming a father. Any homework or activities would be given in order to help facilitate the client being more comfortable about being a parent; therefore, a counselor might suggest the following activity: “Client agreed to talk with his girlfriend about his concerns about becoming a father including but not limited to the financial stress and the contraception concerns.” Although he has decided that this is something he is willing to do his doubts more than likely haven't gone away. Having the parents of this baby talk together early on about the stresses of parenthood will create a habit of them going to each other to deal with stress instead of other people. One last thing about clinical notes, they are absolutely confidential. The client of course can request to see them at any given time. The only other time someone else will see the notes is if they are subpoenaed by the courts and that is not an easy thing. Warrants and other legal documents have to be furnished before they are released. So if you are curious to what your counselor is writing about you, next time request them so you can see.